John Cleese
(written by John Cleese NOT Enterprise Media)


JOHN CLEESE is not just the most spiritually advanced, intellectually gifted and professionally distinguished of the Monty Python group. He is also the one who got landed with writing these **** biographies. Twenty five minutes to midnight, and he’s still sitting there, poor sod, staring into space, trying to think what he can write about himself, dog tired and he hasn’t even had time for dinner. So give me a break.

I’ve got a script conference at nine in the morning. I’ve got to write an intro to a book by five in the afternoon, a press conference at five-thirty and dinner with four of the dullest people in Europe after that, and then up at six-thirty the next morning for seven days’ filming on the trot. So let me off just this once, will you? I really would appreciate it. I’ll make myself a cup of Horlicks and go straight to bed. Promise. I’m not the sort to give you an excuse like this and then nip out after a bit of tail. Honest. OK? Thanks. I really appreciate it.

Mr. Cleese is happily unmarried and is the President of the Holland Park Schadenfreude Society.