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John Cleese
(written by John Cleese NOT Enterprise Media)


JOHN CLEESE is not just the most spiritually advanced, intellectually gifted and professionally distinguished of the Monty Python group. He is also the one who got landed with writing these **** biographies. Twenty five minutes to midnight, and he’s still sitting there, poor sod, staring into space, trying to think what he can write about himself, dog tired and he hasn’t even had time for dinner. So give me a break.

I’ve got a script conference at nine in the morning. I’ve got to write an intro to a book by five in the afternoon, a press conference at five-thirty and dinner with four of the dullest people in Europe after that, and then up at six-thirty the next morning for seven days’ filming on the trot. So let me off just this once, will you? I really would appreciate it. I’ll make myself a cup of Horlicks and go straight to bed. Promise. I’m not the sort to give you an excuse like this and then nip out after a bit of tail. Honest. OK? Thanks. I really appreciate it.

Mr. Cleese is happily unmarried and is the President of the Holland Park Schadenfreude Society.

Results: 1 - 12 of 20

Courses Per Page
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Balance Sheet Barrier 2013
The Basics of Business Finance with John Cleese and Dawn French,  This program will enable managers to appreciate how key financial statements are calculated and how they are used.
The Basics of Business Finance with John Cleese and Dawn French The Balance Sheet Barrier 2013 business finance training video will enable managers to appreciate how key financial statements are calculated and how they are used. The light-hearted approach of this world-famous training program helps ... read more
Can You Spare a Moment?
This new version of Can You Spare a Moment? with John Cleese focuses on developing counseling skills for managers.
This new version of Can You Spare a Moment? with John Cleese focuses on developing counseling skills for managers. Enable managers to understand the techniques of handling delicate situations and encouraging staff to overcome problems proactively. Show managers and team leaders that even the most de... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
Going To A Meeting
Bored? Always arguing? Confused? How are YOU contributing to company meetings? Despite all the advances in communication technology, there is still no substitute for a group of people getting together. We need meetings.
Constructive and Effective ParticipationBored? Always arguing? Confused? How are YOU contributing to company meetings?Despite all the advances in communication technology, there is still no substitute for a group of people getting together. We need meetings. When they work properly, they make our or... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
The Grapevine
Communicating in a World of Change Avoid creating the situation in which employees spread rumors to fill the gap left by a lack of formal communication.
Communicating in a World of Change Avoid creating the situation in which employees spread rumors to fill the gap left by a lack of formal communication. People do need to know what is going on, especially if there’s something afoot that could affect them personally. And once the rumour mill starts g... read more
The Helping Hand - Coaching Skills for Managers
To ensure managers identify skills needs in their teams, and act upon them in order to improve people's performance with John Cleese.
The Helping Hand looks at the manager’s direct role in coaching staff. Understanding the importance of coaching and then learning to coach is not easy.Many managers take the route of saying ’I’ll do it myself, it will only take five minutes’ - which leaves the manager overburdened and team members u... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
How Not to Exhibit Yourself
Staffing an Exhibition Stand Teach booth staff how to present themselves and their organization in a professional and organized manner.
Staffing an Exhibition Stand Teach booth staff how to present themselves and their organization in a professional and organized manner. Even booths that are designed to the finest detail will not produce the results if staff do not know what they are doing. How Not to Exhibit Yourself is a 1974 prod... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
How To Lose Customers Without Really Trying
Learn how to retain customers and keep them coming back in this humorous presentation from the producers of the John Cleese training videos.
It’s easy to put customers off; just be aggressive or defensive. Thankfully, keeping customers satisfied is equally easy. Customers can be trying; and not all customers are pleasant. It’s easy to put customers off, but it is vital to treat them all as personal guests, making them welcome and indulgi... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
Its Your Choice
Selection skills for managers A selection interview is a bit like detective work. Suspects must be eliminated until the right person is found, whether from inside or outside the organization.
A selection interview is a bit like detective work. Suspects must be eliminated until the right person is found, whether from inside or outside the organization. Even talented managers have blind spots when it comes to hiring. It's Your Choice shows managers how to recognize candidates with potentia... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
Meetings Bloody Meetings
Making Meetings More Productive John Cleese shows you how to make the most of your meetings in this classic bestseller!
Making Meetings More Productive How much time do you spend in meetings-and how much of that time is fruitful? Meetings that lack direction and focus are all too common. Meetings, Bloody Meetings is the best-selling video that defines the five disciplines that transform a gathering into a professiona... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
Meetings Bloody Meetings 2012
How to Make Meetings More Productive Make your meetings more productive with the 2012 edition of Meetings Bloody Meetings - the number one best-selling training program of all time, starring John Cleese as the Judge.
How to Make Meetings More Productive Make your meetings more productive with the 2012 edition of Meetings Bloody Meetings - the number one best-selling training program of all time, starring John Cleese as the Judge. Help your people run efficient meetings. Meetings Bloody Meetings 2012 demonstrates... read more
Featured Programs DVD style course with completion certificate only
More Bloody Meetings
The People Side of Meetings This sequel to the award-winning "Meetings Bloody Meetings" with John Cleese, focuses on the interpersonal skills needed to keep meetings productive.
The People Side of Meetings More Bloody Meetings, the sequel to the award-winning "Meetings Bloody Meetings" with John Cleese, focuses on the interpersonal skills needed to keep meetings productive. Why are there so many detestable meetings? Because so few chairpeople properly manage their meetings.... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only
Performance Matters - The Importance of Praise
Part of the Performance Matters Series Hosted by John Cleese, this program will ensure that managers understand how to use praise to make their staff realize that their efforts are appreciated.
Part of the Performance Matters Series Hosted by John Cleese, this program will ensure that managers understand how to use praise to make their staff realize that their efforts are appreciated.At the top of the list of why people think of leaving their jobs is the fact that they feel they aren't app... read more
DVD style course with completion certificate only